"Don't Listen to Your Mom" —Auntie Six* 

"She's giving you bad advice," Auntie says, and takes the phone from Mom, who I called for the lo mein fan or sticky rice recipe ("the savory one with the shiitake mushroom and lap cheong," I specify, because there are hundreds of sticky rice recipes).

Auntie Six began to relay the "better" way to make the dish, which would yield more aromatic flavors from the shiitake mushrooms and lap cheong (Chinese sausage) as well as provide the rice with a slightly crunchy texture, similar to paella. Mom told me to toss everything in the rice cooker, simple as that—which is fine, but if you're not stretched for time, Auntie Six's method is better. This conversation all happened while Mom was in California, chilling with her sisters, of which she has seven.

Eight girls and zero boys made up the Li family—needless to say, Granddaddy spent his life outnumbered. But the amazing thing about him is that he loved each of his girls fiercely, despite the Chinese stigma of prizing men over women.

He believed that his girls were every bit as good and treated them as such. He made sure each lovely lady earned a college degree—which, keep in mind, this is China in the '60s and '70s, so that's a pretty big deal. He supported them until he passed, which happened when Mom was 16. But Pawpaw (a.k.a. "maternal Grandma" in Cantonese), the lady boss that she is, continued to carry the torch, single-handedly raising her daughters to believe in the power of knowledge and equality for Women. And you know what? The Li crew became boss bitches in their field. People traveled from around China to be seen by my Aunties, all because Granddaddy and Pawpaw believed in their daughters rather than the patriarchy. It was pretty progressive of them.

Luckily, Mom fell for a man who didn't care much for the patriarchy either (actually, she was engaged before meeting Dad, and her fiancée told her she was to only have sons...that got shut down real fast). And when my parents had two daughters, despite the fact that Ma-ma (a.k.a. "paternal Grandma" in Cantonese) convinced herself that the second child (a.k.a me) would be a son and couldn't look at me when I was born, Dad loved both of us unconditionally.   

He carried the same ideology as Granddaddy, which is how Sis and I became the (mostly) fully-functional, (relatively) successful adults that we are today. It's because the main man in our life loved and believed in us. So this Father's Day goes out to all the dads who stuck their middle finger to the patriarchy and said their daughters are 100% as good as any man, and probably better. 

*Each aunt and uncle is referred to by their birth order and not their name—to the point where I don't actually know the names of relatives, but I promise that's normal. I'm not an asshole. 

Prep: 1.5 hours Cook: 30 minutes 

INGREDIENTS (FOR 2)

*Lap yuk is cured pork belly, which you can buy in Asian grocery stores or make at home.

PREPARE

1. Wash rice thoroughly and place in rice cooker, then add the 1/2 cup of water slowly. The water should just cover the top of the rice. If you don't use the whole 1/2 cup that's fine—less is more because sticky rice is SUPER absorbent. Let it soak for at least one hour.

2. Re-hydrate the shiitake mushrooms.

3. Mix oyster sauce, soy sauce, and sugar together. Set aside.

4. Chop scallion and cilantro finely. 

COOK

1. Press "cook" on your rice cooker. It's fine if it looks like the rice has absorbed all the water! Promise. 

2. Place the shiitake mushrooms, lap cheong, and lap yuk in a steamer. Cook through until soft (8 mins.).

3. Remove shiitake and lap yuk from steamer and cut lengthwise finely. Cut lap cheong in small quarters.

4. Place a skillet over high heat and throw in a tablespoon or two of vegetable oil. Add chicken. When it's about 80% cooked through, add the shiitake mushrooms, lap yuk, and lap cheong. Continue to stir for a few minutes. 

5. Transfer sticky rice to the pan and fold into the meat. Add the prepared sauce and mix well for 5 mins. 

6. Turn off the stove and mix in scallion and cilantro. 

EAT

The end result may yield what looks like a small amount, especially if you have a large appetite, but trust me, it's more filling than it looks. I like to top my bowl with pork fu, which is dried shredded pork (it's fluffy like cotton candy but looks like deconstructed twine).