"You need a food processor" -Mom

"No I don't. It's called ground pork, mom," I replied. 

"Huh? Ground?" questioned mom.

"Yes, ground. That is an option you know," I clarified.

Mom usually grinds her own pork for a dish I like to call Pork + Pickled Turnip Meatloaf (its literal translation is "pork cookie," which just doesn't sound yummy, and trust me, this dish is AHH-MAZING). It actually looks a bit like brains—which I was told that I lacked growing up.

A terrible student—unlike Sis, who was the golden child—I was rambunctious and never wanted to do my work. Oh, the insults mom would throw at me (all in Cantonese, of course): "You're stupider than an egg," "you have no brains," or "you're dumber than a pig," all while smacking me on the head with her knuckles, hoping it would knock sense into me. I was six. 

In second grade, mom decided that I couldn't do projects on my own because, well, I wouldn't do them. So she took matters into her own hands and decided to take Sis' old projects and pass them off as mine (you didn't see that one coming, did you?). One particular project involved creating a model of the solar system.

"Ting Ting (Sis' Chinese name), where's the one you did? Give it to your sister. She can turn that in."

"Absolutely NOT! That's MY work. She needs to do it on her own, or she'll never learn," yelled Sis, who then proceeded to head down to the basement, root out her old solar system, and rip it to shreds to ensure that I wouldn't be able to use it. Sis was eleven.

Yeah, Sis was a firm believer that I needed to do my own work if I were ever to succeed in life. If I failed, then at least it would be my failure. But, you know what? She was right. I needed to figure it out on my own. Mom thought she was being helpful, but it was only hurting me in the long run. Being less helpful is actually more productive to growth and development because it challenges the mind to think outside predefined parameters, sparking creativity and innovation—and it's not just me who thinks this way. There's even a Ted Talk about it (which I found through, who else? Sis)! 

Mom's parenting skills are modeled after those of her own parents, but that didn't work for me because I was growing up in a very different environment. Namely, not rural China. But by being an indignant little 11-year-old, did Sis force me to be a better student and possibly a better member of society? That's TBD, guys.

"Like brains in a bowl," texts my coworker + friend after I showed him a picture of the Pork + Pickled Turnip Meatloaf. It's incredibly simple and tasty, but horribly unattractive. It's essentially a steamed pork patty, so if you like burgers, it's pretty much the same idea, but actually healthy... Well, healthier.  

Prep Time: 35 minutes Cook Time: 15 minutes

INGREDIENTS (FOR 2)

*Chinese pickled turnips add pungent saltiness to savory dishes. It's no fish sauce, but the flavor is rich—salty with a tang—and is about as provincial as you're going to get. This is something you'll have to go down to Chinatown for, or order online. 

PREPARE

1. Soak finely chopped pickled turnip in room temperature water for 30 minutes (else you'll be tasting nothing but salt, seriously, because I have definitely forgotten this step before).

2. Drain the water and mix the pickled turnip with soy sauce and oil to create the marinade. 

3. Fold mixture into ground pork and let it marinate overnight. 

COOK

1. Fill a large pot 1/8 of the way with water and bring to a boil.

2. Carefully place steamer in the pot and place marinated pork + pickled turnip meatloaf into the steamer and cover. The power of the steam will thoroughly cook the dish in about 15 minutes. That's it! Seriously! You'll know it's done when there's an oily sauce formed around the patty.

EAT

Because of its saltiness, this dish is made for rice. Grab a spoon, break it up into pieces, and mix well with the rice. Also, remember the oily sauce mentioned above? That's everything, so be generous. You will thank me later.